We live in a daze of information. I have a feeling that we always lived in some daze created by somebody, or something influencing our minds, our free will, etc. Shamans call it “domestication,” science calls it “adaptation,” I call it “forgetting who you are.” Since we are born, somebody is telling us what to do and what to think – starting with our parents (well-meaning or not).
Whenever I do deep neuro-emotional repatterning work with my patients I observe deep roots of any obstacles tracing into childhood years.
And it is practically always in response to something with people who are so essential to us, their reactions – not only to our actions, but also to their environment, and even more importantly – to what is going on in their minds.
We learn to adapt, we get in the habit of guessing what is in the other person’s mind, and we learn to second-guess ourselves.
Hey, if, for example, your family is telling you (since you were born) that you are a future lawyer, you might believe in it on your deepest level. You will try on all the personal and professional qualities of all the lawyers you know in person or virtually. Some of these qualities might not agree with you, so you will try to either adapt or to change them to your personality.
After all, there is no choice – in your subconscious mind. And if the dissonance is overwhelming – you break out of that “lawyer” spell and do your own thing. Do you still carry an emotional charge about it?
Look at our rebellious teenagers! What are they doing? They are finding their way in the world despite directives and subliminal messages from their parents and the society. The stronger these messages are – the stronger the rebellion will be. They are learning to navigate the world of tumbler and bitcoins – the uncharted territory for most of us.
If you think our kids don’t have a discipline, and this is why we cannot understand what they are doing – think again. Look around you – we all are swimming in the ocean of conflicting powerful and fast-changing information dissolving every rule and every border there is.
Every concept that was installed in our minds years ago, and in turn we introduced (consciously or not) in our babies’ minds is now under subliminal revision from that ocean of information. Our kids are trying to find who they are. It looks like they are failing – to us – with our limited perception. I hope they will succeed. I know – they will.
But back to us – adults.
If you are trying to understand who you are and what you should do (big surprise! – you are doing it and so everybody else with IQ > 80) – you got to look at your immediate environment and take an inventory.
- Where do you live?
- With whom do you live?
- What do you do every day?
- Who are the people you are communicating with?
- Why are you communicating with any of them?
- Do you like these people and why?
- Why are you communicating with people you don’t like? Hmm?
- What are the rules in your daily life?
- What are the rules in your mind?
- Do these sets of rules match?
- What are your future rules – the rules of your fantasy happy life?
- If you don’t know where you are, you will not know how to get to your destination.
- Oh wait, do you know your destination?
- Have you clearly defined where you are going?
Are you an Aimless Wanderer?
If being an aimless wanderer is what you enjoy, then you don’t have to define any start point or destination. But then don’t blame yourself or anybody else for not getting what you want. It might be a period in life for that – weeks, years, as much as it requires and it might be what the person needs at that point.
There is only one rule for aimless wanderers – a strong faith that nothing is up to them, that they have no control in their life at all. They completely surrender. The best place to do it is a monastery, but perhaps there are other possibilities. It’s not as easy as it seems to be.
Whether we want it or not, there are rules in our society, and the more virtual world information borders dissolve, the more universal these external rules become. However, our internal rules stay the same as we are reluctant to change that fast. Our DNA process doesn’t evolve so quickly. It’s trying to make adjustments, and in working extra hard its making mistakes in repairs of broken links. Literally.
Do you see where the growing conflict is?
So, now more then ever, if you are feeling dissatisfied, you have to take the inventory above. It’s not a Ph.D. program; it’s a short something you have to do every few months – again, due to the ever-changing external environment. It changes our present coordinates, and we got to recalculate again.
Last year you thought you are in that specific place and surrounded by such and such – on your immediate and global levels. Now – it looks like you are in the same physical place but everything changed around you – your body, meaning of things and concepts, people’s behaviors, new ways of doing things, technology, beliefs, etc.
Soon the drones will be carrying Amazon packages to your door, that you will be paying for with bitcoins. You see what I mean? Wait, what is a bitcoin!?!
If you honestly look around, you are in the different place altogether from what you fantasized. It can be disorienting. What if something you believed for many years is not true anymore – and you have the perfect evidence. You will need to change your beliefs, but your entire world is based on these beliefs, you spent years in building your world.
It might be painful even to think about it, leave alone to change it.
I have to tell you an important piece of information. This situation I just described is a major cause of serious health conditions. Any conflict festering in your mind is so dangerous that it must be dealt with as soon as possible.
So, if for years you cannot lose those stubborn 10-15 lbs, suffering from chronic fatigue, adrenal insufficiency, depression, anxiety, insomnia, etc. – you might be searching for an answer in places that don’t have that answer.
People are showing up at my clinic, desperate and hopeless, telling me how conventional medicine failed them, and how they believe in holistic approach now. And asking right after: What herb should I take to heal myself, can I buy it on Amazon, and how many acupuncture sessions it will take to be healthy again.
This mindset is not going to work. Not in health, not in life, nowhere. We have to do something with that mindset because the life as I see it – is going to be even more different really soon.
I have always been a sort of a visionary, and I still like what I see in the future with all the challenges, disappointments, revolutions, and the new society. I’m doing the work that’s desperately needed – preparing the global platform for more people to learn the mindset, skills, and tools to change their lives and to be happy in the new society that is forming.
If even one person can do it – you can do it too. Take the inventory!
Dr. Maya SarkisyanOctober 19, 2017